I love my job. Sort of. Kind of. Ok, not really. Technically though, I'm not actually DOING my real job lately, so I simply hate the job I'm doing now. Turns out hazardous chemicals like engine oil, jet fuel, hudraulic fluid, jet exhaust & the hundred other things I'm used to dealing with on a day to day basis can cause cancer. Hmm...weird. I wonder if that's why they're labled hazardous? Anyway, while my employers, the US Navy, & OSHA have decided it's cool beans for an average person to be around these things all the time...it's not so ok for pregnant women. So here I sit...at a desk...instead of bouncing around on the flight line humming Highway To The Danger Zone while doing what is quite possibly THE coolest job in the world besides being a paid shopper...which I'm still not sure is a real job.
A desk job does have it's benefits. Like for instance when it's 40 degrees out & raining, I'm warm & dry inside. I'm such a big fan of that perk that when co-workers come into the office, I actually get annoyed when they don't close the door & drip water everywhere. I can also eat food without washing my hands. All I have to worry about is germs, I used to worry about crapping my brains out because I accidentally licked hydraulic fluid off my fingers. No joke...a drop of hydraulic fluid will make you pee out of your butt. I also save money on laundry. No more having to wash my work clothes in their own seperate load with a mysterious mix of coke & Dawn dish soap (it's a super secret mixture known only to those of us in the aviation community proven to remove chain grease, oil, and the smell of jet fuel. It will not however, remove chewing gum from your favorite pair of sweatshirt). Now, I can get in my car without putting a towel on the seat, pick my daughter up & hug her instead of the awkward hug where you keep your body as far away as possible...like how you hug your great aunt who smells like cat pee & denture cream. I can also wear my clothes again...wait for it...without washing them!!! *gasp!!!* Dirty girl!!! Oh stop judging me...you know you wore those jeans 2 days ago!
Now for the inevitable downside...I work in the same office as my direct 2 bosses...the shift lead and the workcenter lead. So when they're having bad days...guess who else is having one??? If I'm 2 or 3 minutes late they notice. If I take an unusually long bathroom break...they notice. I've found that starting with the words "Well I've been REALLY constipated..." usually ends that conversation. They also make me give bad news. I have to call to inform people they will be going on a detachment they didn't volunteer for, switch to a shift they don't like, or have to come in 2 hours early on Sunday. Worst of all...I'm in charge of making sure time sheets are filled out correctly. All I do is make sure each person fills out the proper pay codes and everybody clocks out at the end of the day. I have nothing to do with how much vacation they have, I don't know why they don't have any sick time, I'm not the one choosing who has to go home early, and have absolutely nothing to do with when their paycheck comes in. I just read the sticky notes the data clerk sticks on them about any changes & go around with the red pen to have people fix the mistakes. No matter how many times I tell them that I'm not the one making these decisions, I'm still the one they get mad at. I don't make the decisions, I just have to carry them out. What happened to don't shoot the messenger???
When it's all said & done though, I have a job. I have a job that pays RIDICULOUSLY well, has full benefits, and only lasts 8 hours a day. If they try to make me stay longer...they have to pay me for time and a half. Plus we're unionized...try & fire me!!! My supervisors aren't unreasonable (most of them aren't anyway). My boss understands I'm a single mother & sometimes mornings just don't go as smoothly as usual & no matter how much I plan, I'm late occasionally. Best of all...when I'm not chained to a desk, my job as an aircraft worker is one that I absolutely love. I loved it in the Navy & I was incredibly blessed to find the same job with the same aircraft (at my first squadron incidentally) here on in the civilian world. I try to remember all of this when I'm frustrated & want to punch everybody here in the taint, but I'm pregnant & therefore allowed to be COMPLETELY unreasonable about whatever I want!!! Now if you'll excuse me...I'm about to have a pissy fit because some douche bag ate my damn crackers!!!
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